


looking for her ordinary world

by subjunctive



Category: True Blood
Genre: Awesome Ladies Ficathon, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-25
Updated: 2011-07-25
Packaged: 2017-10-21 18:00:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/228029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/subjunctive/pseuds/subjunctive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What would her family think if they saw her, right now?</p>
            </blockquote>





	looking for her ordinary world

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [The Awesome Ladies Ficathon](http://ineffort.livejournal.com/199061.html) '10.

Jessica almost chokes on the cloying scent of the freesia-scented (more like _soaked_ ) air freshener. It smells like her unpleasant and never-quite-clean grandmother, whom she hasn't seen in six months - but it feels like years. Nevertheless, Jessica doesn't quite cover her nose all the way - this is the only way she can block out the rancid smell of dead blood, which urges her vampire body to flee. Fighting this desire, Jessica bends toward the corpse and hefts the chainsaw.

Using a chainsaw is not quite what she expected. What _did_ she expect? A smooth glide, a warm knife through butter. (Something to be _easy_ for once.) Instead she got something ragged and wet and lumpy.

Her cheeks are stained with red, and when she wipes at them she pretends it's from the body (not _the man_ , and something about her new vampire mind can hold off this connection, and she's grateful for it), even though it's really too old and nasty to do that kind of spraying.

Jessica removes the body from the compartment piece by piece, a knee here and a hand there, to a black trash bag. The parts are heavier than she expected them to be. A funny thought enters her head: What would her family think if they saw her right now?

Not that their disgust matters; she's already seen it, even before she was turned. She'd never managed being a good girl, no matter how hard she had tried. After Bill turned her, she'd embraced her new lawless life, hoping for that dream of freedom - before realizing it had a whole new set of rules no one would tell her about. Instead, she'd been passed around like an annoying little sister or a clingy puppy. She can't even manage being a decent vampire.

The only time she'd felt like the right puzzle piece - that _snap_ of connection and hope, a bigger picture coming into view - was when she was with Hoyt, but predictably she'd fucked that up too.

He was too nice for her, anyway. Jessica the Vampire, too bad for nice boys and too nice for bad vampires.

She wonders if there's a place for her anywhere.


End file.
